30 years old.

Well I've made it three decades. I haven't been the most excited about turning 30 but it happened anyway and so I'm going to embrace it. On my birthday I'm going to list 30 things about my life.

1. I've learned that "Your joy is your sorrow unmasked;" that we only feel joy to the depth that we have felt sorrow and vice versa.

2. My earliest memory is having each of my parents holding one of my hands and swinging me. I was about two. I love my parents (and Doug's) for what they gave me and continue to give. The good and the bad combined have helped shape me into what I am today. I thank them.

3. I was a very talented actress. It's the only talent I have had in my life that has come with no effort at all. I was beautiful on the stage and in film. Really beautiful. I loved acting.

4. I have been blessed with wonderful friends and family througout my life. People have been my greatest blessing.

5. I started a sister-school high school sponsoring program that involves two states.

6. In 2002 I gave my body away. First to a difficult pregnancy, then to a tumor, then a second difficult pregnancy, then major health problems too numerous to list. From this I have learned sacrifice, patience and humility.

7. I have passion for life. Everything to me is an adventure and there are so many things I want to do and be. I never want to do anything half way. If I do it, I want to do it and be the best. Life around me is never boring.

8. I may doubt many things. But there are some things I know. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and that he exists. I know that Jesus Christ died for me. I know that we can live eternally with our families. Nothing can shake that testimony.

9. I've learned that being present during life transitions of birth and death are among the most spiritual experiences one can have.

10. I discovered that I love being a homemaker. I love making a haven from the world for my little family. I love cooking for them, nurturing them, making things beautiful. Admittedly, I still do not love the cleaning.

11. I have learned that you can rise above obstacles that have been put in your way as a result of someone else's agency. You don't have to be defined by them but instead you can use them to have empathy and love for your fellow man.

12. Some things I love: cooking, family history, writing, reading, going to movies, seeing plays, the symphony, poetry, learning, politics, the Utah Jazz, new tv shows, blogging/digi-scrapping, meeting new people, traveling, taking pictures, trying new and exotic foods, playing games, camping, making super-detailed itineraries, hiking, going to the spa, consignment stores, antiques, gardening, finding good deals, decorating my house, dreaming, unplanned adventures and the color pink.

13. The three best moments of my life have been getting married, giving birth to Hailey, giving birth to Libby.

14. If you're feeling down about money, the best thing you can do is reach into your purse, find a dollar and give it away. Seriously, walk up to someone on the street and just hand it to them, buy a pack of gum for the person in line behind you in the grocery store, donate it, buy a drink for a friend. Even if you're struggling, if you have a dollar to give away, you have a lot.

15. I know fear, despair, heartache, loneliness, anger, bitterness, disappointment, sadness, emptiness, aching, pain. I also know laughter, joy, gratitude, friendship, love, happiness, silliness, relief.

16. I've learned to cherish the unexpected moments of pure joy. Those are the moments that make all the others worth living for.

17. I sued a University subsequently making law for nine states, but more importantly I stood up for God when no one else would.

18. I have gotten to see foreign lands. What a blessing. I can't wait to be able to see more of the world. If I ever had expendible income I wouldn't spend it on things, I would totally spend it on travel.

19. Life gave me brothers, marriages gave me sisters. Life gave me girlfriends who are like sisters. Siblings are a blessing.

20. There is nothing in the world more important than loving other people. God gave us all to each other to take care of one anther. When you cross paths with someone you WILL influence their life. It is your choice whether the influence builds them up or tears them down.

21. Some people say that I'm opinionated. I prefer to think of it as not being a fence-sitter. I will always get involved, always have an opinion, always speak my mind, always stand up for injustice, always make me count.

22. Being a wife and a mother is the most choice experience of my life.

23. I have flaws, many, many flaws. I can be judgmental, I am scatterbrained, I sometimes exagerate, I can get my feelings hurt easily, I have a hard time finishing things, I speak without thinking, I get distracted, I sometimes expect too much of people, I waste time, I hate cleaning, I eat too much. I could go on, but I don't want to self flog on my birthday. It bums me out. Oh, I'm very self-critical- add that one to the list.

24. The building blocks of my character can be traced to trials.

25. I got the biggest scholorship that Emerson College (a big-time performing arts school in Boston) had ever offerred and although my life took me other places, this stands out to me as a great life achievement.

26. People may leave your life, you may break up, you may move, they may move, even die, but for me the love doesn't leave. I still love my first love. I still love every friend I've ever had from birth to now. Loved ones who have died haven't lost any part of my heart. I think of them and think of the best times we had. I love this about me.

27. I've learned that sometimes all you can say is SHIT and move on.

28. Hard work is rewarding. With Doug I built our first house- much of it with my own two hands. And in another way, we have built a family. Both very hard work, very rewarding. But as hard as we work, we play.

29. I'm not famous, not published, haven't won any peace prizes, haven't cured anything, am known by very few, and was never even able to finish my degree, but I hope that I have made little ripples in the world. I hope that people are better for having known me.

30. I have learned that each new day, week, month, year, decade is a new beginning. That I can be whatever I want to be- as long as God agrees.

I thrill at what the next two-thirds of my life holds for me. I end with this quote that echoes my sentiments by George Bernard Shaw:

This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.

I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community, and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can.

I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no "brief candle" for me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.