On Dramatics

I hate being called dramatic. If you are reading this and have at one time called me dramatic, don't worry, you're not alone. Everyone from the mailperson via note (yes, this actually happened), to my closest friends and family feel it their duty to remind me that I am dramatic.

From the time I was a little girl I've really hated it. When I was young I had no idea what people meant when they said it, I only understood that I was bad- that I was funny when I was trying to be serious. Or that I was brushed off completely because I wasn't saying anything important, I was just being dramatic. What people were saying to that child was that her feelings were invalid due to their depth. In saying I'm dramatic what people are saying is that I am 'too'. Too passionate, too happy, too upset, too animated... just too much.

Over the years I learned to brush it off but it has caused me lasting effects. For example, I never trust myself. I say to myself, "Self, what you are feeling isn't real because you are a dramatic person. Take a step back and ignore the feelings." The problem is that sometimes the feelings shouldn't be ignored and most of the time while my REACTIONS are dramatic, the CAUSE of those reactions is NOT.

But the most damaging and humiliating effect is that I have noticed myself doing to my daughter what was done to me as a child. This is a common phrase at my house, "Hailey, (with a roll of my eyes) stop being so dramatic." In saying such things I am what I loathe. I am perpetuating this horrible cycle, and as I heard myself this morning saying it to her, I stopped cold. I saw her little tears and they were my tears. I knew exactly how she was feeling. I was ashamed.

NEWSFLASH TO THE WORLD (INCLUDING MYSELF): Just because we 'dramatic' people experience all emotions passionately does not mean that we are faking the feelings. We actually feel that deeply. We experience life on a different plane. Not a better or worse plane, just a different one. And that should be respected. I know that dealing with us requires a little more patience and disecernment than dealing with 'normal' folk, but I promise you, we're worth the patience.

My dramatics are a gift- so are Hailey's. Yes, we are dramatic, and I'm going to teach my daughter to embrace it for what it is. A beautiful gift.

WHO ARE YOU CALLING DRAMATIC???