I have loved the first 3/4 of 2008. I have grown substantially this year in so many ways. One thing that I am very thankful for is that I have learned and have been taught regarding contentment.
My life has been a whirlwind with a lot of happiness and a lot of trials. I also have taken on so much in my life and have self-inflicted the weight of the world on my own shoulders at times; taking on personally the stresses of all. I would say that anxiety has been a companion to me. I've had happiness beyond measure, of course, but I have struggled to find peace. I've had high highs and low lows. And the times when I've been able to see contentment I've felt guilty about it. I've realized that feelings of guilt for grasping at peace are feelings from one source. God would not have me feel that way.
It is of course a process and I have a long way to go, but I am learning that:
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
My life has been a whirlwind with a lot of happiness and a lot of trials. I also have taken on so much in my life and have self-inflicted the weight of the world on my own shoulders at times; taking on personally the stresses of all. I would say that anxiety has been a companion to me. I've had happiness beyond measure, of course, but I have struggled to find peace. I've had high highs and low lows. And the times when I've been able to see contentment I've felt guilty about it. I've realized that feelings of guilt for grasping at peace are feelings from one source. God would not have me feel that way.
It is of course a process and I have a long way to go, but I am learning that:
- It's okay to say no.
- I love being a wife, mom, and making a beautiful place for my family.
- I don't always have to be busy.
- I can listen to people, empathize, love them, be there for them but I don't have to take on their weights. That is what our Savior is to do, not me.
- I am not in control of everything. I can choose MY actions and reactions only.
- The atonement is not only the Savior taking on my sins. It's the Savior taking on me as a person- including my sorrow, fear, joy etc.
- Being content does not mean I'm doing something wrong.
- I want people to be lifted up when they interact with me. You can't lift people up when you are down.
I am content. I am trusting in my Savior. I thank my Heavenly Father for helping me to find this feeling. I give credit to getting physically healthy, getting enough sleep and getting rid of the pregnancy/breastfeeding hormones, daily scripture study, prayer, my husband and children, my family members, a clean home, association with wonderful women who are my friends, trying to lead my young women and in turn learning so much from the process, and of course Grace through which I am saved "after all that I can do."
Our Savior has said:"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
10 comments:
I have been in the process of a similar revelation. Thanks for this.
well said....
I am struggling myself to find peace with the things you are content with. Hope is where I am right now. Hope and faith; that it will come.
Christie, thanks for always sharing honesty; it is a strength to others, knowing that we are not alone along the way. love you and your beautiful family.
P.S. Pass on to Doug that Clarissa has found her way to my bookshelf and into the world of "my body fell off"; which she is so impressed to tell EVERYONE that her cousin is on the cover! Pretty cool in the 6th grade.
That is great Chris. I'm glad you are happy and finding contentment. On days like today (which I've already vented to you about) it's good to read something like this that helps remind me about being content, which is the same as counting my blessings. Thanks.
You're awesome, content or not! I hope to be just a little bit more like you! Plus, you're my canning idol!
It's good you have so much figured out. It took me many hours of counseling and prayer and hard work to get half of that. Still more still figure out here. Take care!
Very well said cousin!!! Thank you so much for your example!!
As always, you are an inspiration dear sister. Love you!
wow... until reading your blog, I never realized that 3/4 of 2008 is over. Wow! I have been having the same feelings as well.
Christie, This is Wendy Evans... fellow blogger. I heard you had a blog at April's club last night. I am on Marla's so I found you. I heard some exciting news about you. Anyway I hope it is ok that I checked out your blog. So cute and Thank you for your amazing words and journey. I have been going through the exact same thing and to read that I am not alone and the encouragement from you is wonderful. You can see me at http://jeffandwendyevans.blogspot.com Have a fabulous day.
Christie! I found your blog while reading Crystal's. I'm so happy to find you! What a cute family you have! It's great to see you are doing so well. Can you believe we are all grown up? (Well old enough to be grown-ups I guess. I wouln't go as far as to call myself a grown-up just yet:)
Hope you have a great day!
-Jennifer Nattress Walker
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