Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?

I push Christ away. I tell him I can do it myself.

I separate.

But here's a secret... I can't bear it. I'm doing a terrible job. I'm ruining my body. My spirit is disconnecting.

I know God is there. I know Christ is there. I know he died for me... but I have a hard time believing Him. A hard time believing that I really don't have to carry my burdens.

I alone must bear all burdens.

This has been my truth.

My truth is a lie.

And my brain knows it.

And my heart knows it.

And it's time to give all of this baggage to Christ.

But it's hard. And it's going to take awhile. And that's okay because at least I'm willing to look at the lies: those things that have made me physically, mentally, spiritually sick.

In Romans we read:

35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Nothing can separate me from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus, my Lord... no, not even my own self.

He is where He has always been: next to me. At my bedside. Watching out so that I can sleep.

And he's here whether or not I choose to believe him.

I want to believe Him. It's time.