Who loves Hailey... ME!!!

Today is my last day with my baby. When I was pregnant with Hailey, I was bringing home over half of the income and I had no idea how it was going to work but I knew that I would be home with her and that was a no-negotiation point. And somehow, we made it work. Each day I've spent with her (even the hard ones) has been a priceless gift to me. Monday she goes into the big bad world (otherwise known as Kindergarten) and she isn't all mine anymore.

When Hailey was about a year old, we had this cute thing that we did. At random moments Doug and I would yell, "Who loves Hailey?" to which all would respond, "MEEEEEEE!" and Hailey would raise her hand in the air and in her sweet little articulate voice yell, "MEEEEEEE!" I know it's gramatically incorrect, but come on she was 1. I haven't thought about it in years actually, which makes me wonder what other priceless memories I have tucked into the recesses of my brain.

So the other day as I was trying to help her buckle her car seat (to which she batted my hands away and said "I'm not a baby, gosh!") I had this instant take your breath away moment where the memory of a little Hailey came flooding back to me. In my memory I was buckling her into her seat and asking, "Who loves Hailey?" and rubbing our noses together while she raised her hand and said, "MEEEEEE!" What struck me about that memory is how confident and brave Hailey has been from birth. While thrilled that I'm raising such an independent, self-assured, precocious little girl, confidence comes with a price. And that price is the breaking of my heart.

So off she goes into the world, confident as can be. Excited doesn't begin to describe how she feels about going to school. And as far as she's concerned, the only emotion that I feel at this monumentous occasion is elation. But at nighttime over the past two weeks when I'm alone with my thoughts I cry and mourn the closing of this chapter.

We're celebrating our last day together as she and I have always done things together- in grand fashion. We're going to get her hair cut, get our toes painted, go school shopping, go out to dinner- the works. And tonight, after she's asleep, I'm going to rock my baby. And I'm going to repeat over and over, "Who loves Hailey? MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"