2011 Resolutions

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Resolutions for 2011

Here is something I learned in 2010. You can plan and prepare and resolve to your heart's content, but sometimes, in fact most of the time, God has different ideas. Thinking of where I had planned (last year on New Year's Day) that I would be today, I'm not even close! I type these words from a new house (never planned that) without a new addition to the family (didn't see that one coming).

I made resolutions last year! Thirty-Eight of them in fact. And they were great goals. The person who can do all Thirty-Eight of those things would look pretty good to the world. And here it is: If you look at my resolutions from last year, I appear a failure because I didn't accomplish any of them fully. I worked on them all, but didn't accomplish a single one to my 2010 "standard."

Here's what has come from last year: I DON'T CARE. I love who I am. I'm not anywhere close to perfect, but I am full of Joy! The person I was able to become through 2010 is closer to celestial than the picture perfect person my goals dictated that I would be. I'm more celestial because I am real, flawed, humble and teachable. My most notable accomplishment of 2010 is that through some pretty hefty trials I finally allowed myself to be humbled and trusted Christ. I turned it all over to Him (and our Father of course) and guess what? HE TOOK MY PAIN. And not just the pain from my current trials, but in turning that over to him, he showed me how to turn the rest over to him too. He showed me that I can be free. And with that new found freedom is another gift: I can allow people--including me--imperfection, flaws and weakness. With this has come an overwhelming love for my fellowman that I hope will stay with me forever.

I've learned that losing weight, regular temple attendance, perfection in mothering, changing the world, accomplishing great things, writing novels, reading the right number of books, scripture study, serving others, etc. ARE NOT THE KEYS TO HAPPINESS!!! I learned that when you lose weight you will look and feel better but it does nothing to change the way you feel about yourself. I learned that one time in the temple with a heart totally turned to God is more valuable than going 12 times just to say that you've gone. I learned that you can do everything that makes you a perfect mother on the outside and still feel like a failure. Etc. Etc. Etc. I've learned that small steps with a pure heart will take you light years beyond large steps with ill-advised intent. I learned that there is no way to God, God IS the way; through the Atonement of His Son.

I want to do a lot this year. I want to blog more and write more and attend the temple more and read more and study more and get cuter and skinnier and lovelier in all ways. I want to be a better mom, a mom to more kids, a mom that matters. I want to serve and start a non profit and make the world a better place. I could go on and on for hours!

All of this passion inside fills me with hundreds of goals and I actually love the process of setting goals so what I'm about to type is going to be hard for me...

I'm going to make one goal.

There, I've typed it. JUST ONE! But see, the thing is, I know that if I can just do this one thing even if I accomplish NOTHING tangible, I will become closer to the person I want to be than by setting a hundred tangible little goals. If I align my will with God's, I know that he and I will make miracles together.

Happy New Year!

C

Resolutions 2011

Align my will for me with God's will for me.