I am ending an unhealthy relationship. My lover and I are breaking up!

***WARNING, ALERT: I have become one of those cuckoos who overshares and talks about their body on their blog. If this offends you, Kindly close this site :)***

I love food. But as much as I love food, we have to break up. As silly as it may sound I actually feel emotional over this break up. I use food for everything. Food is how I celebrate, how I relax, how I get away, how I mourn, how I fume. For every emotion there is a corresponding food.

But behind this breakup is a very long story...

I am sick. My health has been on a sometimes sudden, sometimes gradual but always steady decline since 2002. No one seems to have been able to find the source of my problems although many of them manifest themselves in my reproductive system.

Recently I was given a blessing that promised me that the end was in site. After all of these years of prayers and pleading, I think it truly is. In the past 2 years alone I have seen 13 doctors and been on 26 different medications. While some Doctors have attempted to treat individual symptoms, no one has looked at my entire body and how my many symptoms have worked together to make me this ill. Most of the Doctors I have seen want to treat me with Synthetic drugs. Last year I began to research Natural approaches to things, but no doctors would hear of it. In fact, I had one doctor actually tell me not to bother coming back to him until I threw away any homeopathic remedies I had in my home! I continued to research and became fascinated with how food might be playing into my problems. After this year I have become convinced that I needed a doctor who would treat me with a more holistic approach and yet still retain some of the western ideologies of medicine.

Two weeks ago, through a miraculous turn of events I found the one (the one doctor for me that is!): Dr. Stuart Porter in Provo (who already has 5 referrals from me). He is AWESOME.

Last week he took my blood and today was my results appointment. I have the following:

CONDITIONS:

• Hypoglycemia


• Disglycemia


• Adrenal Discord


• Low "Fountain of Youth" hormone production (didn't catch it's technical name


• Insulin Resistance


• Adnomyoma Tumor


• Adnomyosis


• PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome


• Low Iron Serum (Anemia)


• Subpar Thyroid Function (not enough production)


• Low Ferritin (a 5!)


• Low Hermatacrit


• Low Vitamin D


• Leaky Gut Syndrome


• High Estrogen


• Low Progesterone


• Melatonin Deficiency


• B Vitamin Deficiency

ALLERGIES: Severe

• Gluten (Wheat, Rye, Barley, Spelt, some Oats)


• Pasturized Cows milk


• Soy


• Refined Sugars


• Pecans


• Walnuts

Moderate

• Peanuts

Mild

• Rice


• Almonds


• Chocolate


• Cheese


• eggs


• corn

So not only am I going on 34 medicines/supplements/hormones, but I'm going on the world's most difficult diet. I'm writing this post because I'm about to break up with food and when it gets hard, it will be nice to read this and remember how awful I felt. It might give me courage to say no to Green Bean Casserole at Thanksgiving Dinner, or Cake on my birthday. I don't write it to whine. But yes, having all these conditions and their accompanying symptoms makes me feel downright terrible. I can't have a child. I can't get going in the morning. I can't sleep at night. My digestion sucks (gross but true). My hair has thinned. My skin is bad. My moods are unpredictable. Etc. and so forth. It's awful.

I have a plan. Here it is:

I am going to bust my rear and do amazingly well on my diet, medicines, supplements, hormones, exercise for 4 months at which time I will try to become pregnant without IVF or artificial hormones. If by January this does not happen, then this was not the way our family was meant to grow and I will have a full hysterectomy, then be healthy and we'll be free to pursue adoption with our whole hearts. If I do become pregnant I will have the hysterectomy with my c-section. No more cancer/anemia causing tumors and a new baby for me!

God has heard my prayers and the end is in sight, just as he has said. The trouble is that the path from here to the end looks like a really difficult path to me. Simply stated, I have no idea how I will find the strength and willpower to get to that end. I know that I can't go without wheat for my whole life, but I can today. And when I can't for a whole day, I can for a moment. Maybe that's how I'll get through. Moment by moment. And I can picture the end. A time when I feel fantastic; when my physical body keeps up with my soul; Where I can hold a baby in my arms. Tonight as I held Sarah's new baby I thought, "I want this more than I want bread."

God promised an end in sight. He didn't promise an easy path. I feel like he is offering me my heart's deepest longings if I have the courage to go and get them.

So Food... I'm sorry to say, we're breaking up. I no longer need you to celebrate, mourn, fume, relax, etc. I need you only for nourishment. On an emotional level, we're through! Here I am today at the Brick Oven where my sweet husband took me for my farewell to Gluten/Refined Sugars lunch. Goodbye pasta, garlic bread, red cream soda and apple sucker!