Life is Hard.

I made my blog private and so the only people who may stumble upon this post are people I consciously gave permission to look at this.

Life is hard. Mine is and I know that yours is too. I'm not trying to complain or get sympathy. I'm simply asking for your faith and prayers for me over the next week.

I feel that if something doesn't resolve itself with my body soon I very well might lose it. MY SPIRIT IS NOT SICKLY AND IT IS GOING CRAZY IN THIS SITUATION!!! I think I've hit my capacity. It's been so many years.

I held a baby today for our Relief Society secretary while she made copies. He's brand new and I smelled his neck and it was so sweet. And I was relieved when he started to cry and I had to take him out because my own tears were on their way out of the corners of my eyes. My heart is broken. And no amount of logical reasoning with my mind helps.

On the other hand, the JOY of my life is immense. Hailey, Libby, Doug sized Joy. And there is good in every moment.

How is it possible to be so sad and so happy all at once?